1. Homosexuality is a private affair—a reality that society must respect. Gay marriage is another thing. It is not a purely private affair. It is a social affair. There is a social norm and the gay marriage is something new and added to what society is already having. Gay marriage is a new form of living as “family”, and if there is adoption a new living of “being a child”. We say that marriage is a “natural given”. A couple-man and woman—will have birth happening; a child comes into the world. Marriage is an institution in society implying thus a juridical aspect too; the law will protect the institution.
2. Ok, so maybe today we have new ways of looking at things. Marriage is not anymore strictly linked with procreation. Marriage can be about sentiments, affection, feelings and not procreation. Ok, it is post-modernity, fine. The child does not necessarily have to be fruit of conjugal union. Well, conjugal union does not uniquely have to also lead to having a baby. Now, to have a baby—to desire having a baby—can also be done in other ways like adoption or surrogate ways.
3. Ok, now is sentiment/feeling/affection now going to be the unique sense of marriage? Will the desire to have a child be part of marriage? If sentiment/feeling/affection can be norm for marriage then do we allow removing, for example, the prohibition of incest? If we delete the “natural given” of having babies then do we open the door for a papa to take his daughter for wife? …a mama takes her son for husband? …a sister takes her brother as husband? …a brother takes her sister as wife? Remember, we open the door to making marriage based solely on sentiment/feeling/affection.
4. Now, let us go to the gay marriage issue. This marriage will have to recognize the marriage as an affair of sentiment/feeling/affection outside the natural norm of making babies. It is clear—gays cannot make babies. They can have babies made but they do not make babies. This introduces in society a new psychic life…and psychic identity. It will redefine what is family.
5. Ok, for the sake of the gay couple who want marriage, we might agree that this is about equality. If a man and a woman get married, why not the gays, so the question goes? Fine. Will this mean that hetero marriage will also be same as gay marriage? A man-woman couple is not exactly the same as, say, a man-man couple. To establish an equivalence will require changing—if not denying—a reality of differences.
6. If we put gay marriage and hetero marriage in equal terms, then do we have to drop sexual differences? For the gays to exercise their right of equality we will have to stop making the difference between man and woman a foundation. A new form of humanity will have to emerge. Right now we still live in a world of differences. But with the equality right of gays then we might need a new way of living where we refuse differences.
7. Now, a gay couple cannot have children. Maybe some might find this sad. To have procreation we need a man and a woman. But then, in gay marriage, the gay couple can ask for the right to have children. This is for the sake of equality, right? Does the gay couple adopt a child? Maybe, with fantastic science, a medical assistance can be done so one of them can have be pregnant and give birth to a baby. Science might just one day allow a man-male to hold a womb! Now the gay couple will have their right to have a baby. But then, remember that what prohibits them to naturally have a baby is not “rights” but…Nature.
8. Ok, let us talk of adoption. Still there is a difference between adoption of a hetero couple and adoption of a gay couple. If a hetero couple adopts a child it is to address the problem of sterility. If it is a gay couple that adopts, well…it is to go around an impossibility with the help of the law. It is not natural, then. It is not exactly in the parameters of “human nature”.
9. Until now we might be functioning in a society where not everything is possible. But then, if we allow gay marriage, then we can say that we are doing better in making the impossible happen. In other words, nothing will be impossible. It is now possible for gays to get married—what was once impossible is now possible. Galing, astig! We stretch beyond the parameters of the possible. The limit is put farther away. The line is farther away. Ok. In other words we do not have to obey nature, we have rights and science to extend our powers. Adoption and, as science can likely make it happen, medically assisted procreation can be done by the gay couple. What was impossible for nature before is now made possible thanks to science and laws. We stretch the possible beyond the limits we know—the limits of nature. Will this be giving us a security? We might want this to happen but…it has a play with power too.
10. The hetero couple will “make a child”. The gay couple will “have a child made”. To “make a child” is to have two persons love each other; the fruit is a child and not a merchandise; not an object. To “have a child made” is…well, it looks like to have an object, a merchandise, a “product”. A woman’s womb will be for rent, for example. Or a man will have to change his biological system to have a womb implanted…. Which is strange.
11. Now, in a hetero couple, there is the role of the mother and the role of the father to educate the child. How does this work if both parents are both males or both females? In a hetero couple the child can see who is father and who is mother. How does this work with a gay couple? Let us say that we allow gay marriage, it can happen that we remove the right of the child to have a father and a mother…. Di ba? So the child grows up with a different psyche and likely will not be like the other kids with their papas and mamas. The child with hetero parents can say, “My papa and my mama”. The child of a gay couple will say….well….